Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
