he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
