Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
