Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
