She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
