I should be sponsored by Trojan
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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