I want to stick my p in your. b.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
