Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My feet surprised me
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