just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
