i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
