did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
