saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
