Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
