I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
