white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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