He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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