we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
