Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
