there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
