Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
