The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So apparently I’m into choking now
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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