Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
