Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
