? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
