Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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