Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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