dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
