you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
