I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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