At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
