3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
More tranny stories later!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
