Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
