is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
