I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
