you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
