this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
