Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm having to shit out rocks
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