Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
