I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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