Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
