is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
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