I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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