And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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do you know where my other puke covered boot is
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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