Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
