how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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