I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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