I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
