these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She's the barista slut.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
