Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
