What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
