I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
