It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
