At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There r osticjed everywhere
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize