whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
