Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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