My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
