hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I understand Curling. That high.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
