you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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