i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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