he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
