She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
