those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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