she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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